Lesson of the day:
If you’re going to take Jaeger Bombs… make sure you do alot of them. I only did two and I ended having to leave the bar and go home and program, because I’m hypersensitive to caffeine (1 tall coffee from starbucks will keep me up all night if I drink it at 6 PM). Thus two cans of Red Bull resulted in me having wonderful ideas in my head that, I had to right down. Plus, once I got to think I just sort of stared at the wall for like 15 minutes. That’s not a good vibe.
For one believes he may eat all things,but he who is weak eats only vegetables. -Romans 14:2
Unable to cope with my girlfriend problems with Lindsey, I decided to take the easy way out and commit suicide. I forgot the basic advice though, up the stream not across the river 
The results 
.
I’m just kidding of course! Suicide is messed up no one should do it, except those who fall into that oregon assisted suicide law… standard disclaimer, yadda yadda IANAL blah blah.
Anyway, that is just one of many scares I will have after hitting a deer going 25 MPH on my road bike @ 1:00 AM on the W & OD.
I was riding down the trail thinking and though awwwh dear so I play roared at it. It being a deer bolted off in the same direction my bike was traveling. I was going fast and picking up speed so it wasn’t getting away…
Anyway, I was coming to a bridge shortly before Hunter Mill (yeah, there are deer in vienna imagine that) when i noticed oh there’s fence around the bridge. Deer was still running along side trying to get away. Then it cross in front of me & WHAM it tries to jump the fence and fails. It freaks out and bolts back across to the other side… OH SHIT!
The last image burned into my eyes are a dear’s head with it’s eyes staring right into mine illuminated in the blinking LED glow from headlights. I remember a dull thud seeing it fly forward and fall over, myself detaching from my bicycle and flipping over the deer, my bicycle flying back. I was on the floor and immediately on my feet, blood pumping and then I did something stupid again.. I roared at the deer. A deep guttural roar. Then I noticed it was one of those deer with antlers and I was like oh shit… it’s gonna charge me and I’m going to get skewered by a buck on the W & OD at 1 AM, coming home from work. What a way to go.
Then it turned around and ran away and I collapsed back on the floor. I hadn’t felt so tired and out of breath in a long time. I just lay there for about 5 minutes and then everything started hurting. Especially my severely bruise left side on which I had landed on. My left wrist is still oozing blood and it’s been like 2 hours. My entire left side is turning several shades of purple and yellow. Hell yeah!
THEN I GET TO FUCKING MCDONALDS AND IT’S FUCKING CLOSED! SO IS TACO BELL! WHAT THE FUCK?
I just had a near death experience and I wanted a 10 piece chicken nugget with sweet and sour sauce and my suburban McTacoHut (Wiehle & 267) is closed? At 1 AM? 24 HOUR DRIVE THRUS PLEASE. I swear I saw like 5 cars pull in only to find out it was closed while I was there.
So I dejectedly rode home, took pictures, cleaned myself up and made a blog entry.
No more biking to work, both my bikes are now in the shop. How unfortunate. Alas, though I think I’m taking this whole manliness thing to far. Observe this conversation:
(2:49:38 AM) schuldi*: Is it all your blood?
(2:49:40 AM) Matt *: It’s my blood
(2:49:44 AM) schuldi*: Oh.
(2:49:59 AM) schuldi*: Uh, maybe you should have stopped by the ER instead?
(2:55:27 AM) Matt *: boo
(2:55:31 AM) Matt *: real men don’t go to the ER
(2:55:35 AM) Matt *: they bleed to death
RAWR! I do feel good though. I faced down a deer. Now for a water buffalo or a hippo.
This morning, I made a mistake. For the past 2 months I’ve eaten almost zero process carbs such a pasta, bread, or sodas. Last night, my mom who is slowly destroying her body by not being able to muster the self control not to eat sugar laden foods, bought a 50 count box of munchkins. I ate three blueberry glazed munchkins.
Within 5 minutes I felt like vomiting. The sugar had made me sick, because I’d weaned my body off of it. Before, when I got the desire to snack, I might eat a bag of gummy bears, twizzlers, or some other terrible carbohydrate laden food that was easily available. I abused gatorade and vitamin water, because it’s caloric density by volume was far lower than soda.
After two months, my body couldn’t handle the sugar (this is actually a good thing). Those 3 munchkins I ate probably had around 1000 calories. All quickly shocked into my system.
This why this morning, I went back to the good stuff:
Yup, that’s my breakfast ritual (blueberries, blackberries, strawberries). I’m out of raspberrys and so is my local supermarket so they’re missing from the picture. If I’m really hungry or feeling particularly sore, I have some hard boiled eggs along with the berries. Now to bike to work!
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