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November 17, 2007

Wall Street

Filed under: Me, Obvious, The Man, With a Whimper — by nullp0inter @ 2:31 pm

Why didn’t I take the job at GS or LB?

BECAUSE I AM AN IDEALISTIC IDIOT THAT WILL BE PAYING THE PRICE FOR MY STUPIDITY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

Kids, when your family, friends, & teachers tell you to do what you want, tell them to f*ck off.  When you’re getting the 1 million dollar bonus and banging a different girl every night of the week (maybe even different ones on the same night) and have more disposable income in a year then most people see in a lifetime and can hide it offshore bank accounts…  that’s when you’ll be laughing.

The hardest hit will be the salespeople dealing with mortgage-backed securities, according to Options Group director Eric Moskowitz. Their average bonus will be about $1 million compared with $2 million last year

Awwh, shucks only a million dollars this year…

November 10, 2007

Immigration & Pointers

Filed under: Asshattery, Obvious, With a Whimper — by nullp0inter @ 11:51 pm

Strength thought unity! Unity through faith! England prevails!

I would like to point out that all the Scandinavian countries have higher happiness indexes than North America. Booming tech and commodities sector and are properly investing to grow their countries value.  Taxes are high but I would argue that they have no really poor people.
Their metro used to be run on the honor system.
(I’m no longer sure if it is)

Most white people don’t want to work low-end jobs and would rather have immigrants do those jobs for them.

Most white people don’t want to work any non-financial technical jobs either.

Why does a country allow lax immigration in the first place?  If they didn’t can you imagine how expensive a plastic tub of strawberries would be?

~ 1 cup of blueberries is like $5 or $6 USD with Mexicans picking it on the cheap. Can you imagine what would happen if a white person (who wants $1000 / week) were to be picking blueberries? You’d have a huge inflationary shock to the system. 

Microsoft is importing Indians and Asians like crazy, because there are not enough qualified people being produced by American schools. 

23/25 CS graduates could not properly use pointers.  A female senior in my operating systems class once asked me for help.

Her: I did almost everything like he said. I pretty much copied and pasted the example algorithm, but it’s not working. It keeps crashing at this point where it tries to read the information into the input buffer.

Me: Hmm, let me take a look.  Let me take a look.  Did you call malloc to allocate memory?

Her: What do you mean allocate memory?

Me (inside my head): Are fucking kidding me?  You’re a bloody senior with a 3.8 GPA and you don’t know you have to allocate memory to use it?

Me: For this class we’re working in C. In C++ the string and vector classes automatically handled the memory management for you. Since you need to store stuff in a buffer you need to call a memory allocation routing to reserve space to put the relevant information.  That variable with a star next to it is a pointer.  In other words it is an integer that points to the physical memory address
in the computer, where the information is stored. The pointer itself is a WORD, or a 32 bit integer on this specific platform.

Her: Why can’t I just use the variable?

Me (inside): There is no hope.

Me: It’s like reserving a locker in a private gym.  You can’t just go and put stuff anywhere you want.  You might put your stuff in someone else’s locker and then it will get stolen, moved, or damaged when they try to put their stuff in there. The operating system is like a security guard at the gym who will stop you and kick you out if you’re not using your reserved locker.

Her: How come, I can’t just use the = sign to assign values to the pointer.

Me (inside):  Wow.  She has no internal concept of how a computer works.  Somehow she has managed to make it this far by being nothing better than a monkey.

Me: That would be like trying to store your stuff in the piece of paper that tells you your locker nnumber.

October 3, 2007

Don’t go to an Engineering School

Filed under: Fitness and Exercise, Food, Obvious, With a Whimper — by nullp0inter @ 2:17 am

Q.E.D

August 30, 2007

Seattle

Filed under: With a Whimper — by nullp0inter @ 8:59 pm

Well more accurately Kirkland, WA.

As part of this whole moving process, I’m starting to think that I’ve made myself hollow inside.  I have either numbed or become completely insensitive to the varieties of emotional/intellectual pain.  My adaptation to extreme stimulus, particularly negative reward stimulus has been to excise it from existence.

For example, when I was a little kid I used to enjoy watching TV and playing with friends.  Then I was grounded and eventually it got up to 180 days.  That’s right 180 days.  All I could do was go to school, read, and do homework. Rather than let my parents get away with correcting my behavior, I focused on enjoying what I was allowed to do to the point that somehow I convinced my mind that it was fun.  I started reading so much, that I was reading approximately 500 pages / day.  I read Robert Jordan’s The Shadow Rising in one night.  If you know WoT, you know how obnoxiously long the books can be.  I got really good at using the computer and playing math blaster.  I focused on what I could do so much, that the pain of losing what I formerly enjoyed and could not do just disappeared.  This repeated itself through out my life.  When I lose something or it’s taken away from me, rather than fighting to get it back… I simply replace it.  This seems to include women.  After I had problems with ex (? yah it’s still ?), I started dating and hooking up like crazy.   I also just earned the Raytheon Achievement Award.  Yay, me!  Everyone, thinks I’m an overachiever, because I work a lot.  Work is just one of those things that no one can take away… like knowledge and skills.  Some folks are born… made to wave the flag.

Emotionally, I’m finally back to where I was freshman and sophomore years in college.  I’m ready to dive into work, working out, and not relaxing.  For me relaxing… is just not very relaxing.  Maybe, I need to stop treating life like leveling up.  You know 25 push ups = 1 xp, 5 xp until the next level, next level means I can do 1 more push up.  My special stats also get a bonus every 5 levels!   +5 dexterity for playing the Viola everyday and doing parkour!

Plus, I have a very strong feeling that unless I go hang around the U of W campus, girls in Seattle are going to suck.  Female in software engineering (most of the seattle female population) and in bands (rest of seattle female population) usually aggravate me to no end.

Life goes on.

August 19, 2007

Vegas Cockblock

Filed under: Relationships, The Game, With a Whimper — by nullp0inter @ 4:59 am

I opened this two set of girls at the pool at the barbecue today, with an opinion opener about my current situation with my (ex ?) girlfriend, and they ate it up.  Funny thing is they told me to do exactly what Roissy said in his three weeks post, but they predicted it would only take a week.

Anyway, fluff talk and it was all going good until this other couple showed up.  They were in their 40s or 50s. I messed up and let them start talking to me. It all went downhill from there.  They proceeded to insult all the girls in the area as empty shells.  Then they were like what’s a nice guy like you doing talking to them.  (I had talked to them earlier and the guy’s wife had started crying, because she was shocked that a 21 year old with such a good heart as myself could exist)

So then they proceeded to tell me to follow my heart and not change.  That I would find the right person and it would just happen and if they didn’t like me for who I am then it wasn’t the right person.

Fucking BULLSHIT.

I am tired of people goddamn telling you it’s okay to be a loser. What the fuck is up with that? Be yourself? As if that’s worked. 

Yeah that’s why they didn’t get married until 40 and have no children.  You lose the game of life, congratulations.  Then some tortured writer comes over and starts agreeing with them.  I’m just sitting there thinking fuck fuck fuck you guys just totally screwed me over.

I didn’t get to close, because anybody with a whiff of coolness was gone like the wind.  I hate the good in me. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.  Follow your heart? What? You mean so I can end up with a 1 who likes me for who I am? This whole spiritual soul mate crap is all bullshit.

I want the hottest girl possible, everything after that is just icing on the cake. 

I hate the good side of me.  It always fucking bites me in the ass. Is 21 years of misery not enough to crush it? Why is it so resilient? Why do I feel bad?  How did my parents raise me to be such a good person? Really, cause i want my kids to be criminals.  Criminals that don’t get caught, but criminals nonetheless that take whatever they want.

I’m so going to develop MPD.

August 16, 2007

Worse than I thought

Filed under: With a Whimper — by nullp0inter @ 12:55 pm

I AM
93%
OPTIMUS PRIME

Optimus Prime

Optimus Prime is the heroic leader of the Autobots. He is the personification of courage, strength, and integrity. His personal motto is that “Freedom is the right of all sentient beings.”

Like Optimus Prime, you are compassionate and your heart is pure. You are inspiring, confident, and a natural leader. The Autobots have chosen well. In addition, you enjoy being one step ahead of your friends as far as trends and technology.

Take the Transformers Quiz

I wanted 100% Megatron.  At least I’m not 100% Optimus :-/

August 1, 2007

Reminders

Filed under: Awesomeness, Hero, Pirates and Ninjas, Relationships, With a Whimper — by nullp0inter @ 11:00 pm

She wants time & space, and I’m trying to make sure I give it to her, but it’s a lot harder than I thought.

Every little thing triggers a damn memory.  It’s absolutely terrible.  I deactivated my facebook account and luckily myspace is blocked at work.   I was reading CNN and I see an article that mentions how ford is not losing money this month.  Then I remember she drives a Ford Escape, and how happy she was when she got that car.  How she used to park as close as possible to the entrance to wherever we were going, even driving around for a while to get a good spot, but now parks as far away as possible so there’s no cars around her, because she doesn’t want it scratched.

I remember trying to learn the difference, between T.I, T-Pain, and some other rappers (I liked the music, I just couldn’t match voices to the names).  I remember how she told me that little bow-wow or something doesn’t like being called little anymore.

That was just “0.68 seconds sir. For an android, that is nearly an eternity.”   For me too :-/

Then crossing Dulles Toll Road on my bike to work everyday, on our first date we took the road to the airport and ended up having to go to Regal, because we ended up so far out west.

Everywhere, I turn there’s something to trigger memories and I’m trying to avoid it so I don’t come off as too clingy/desperate.

That said I’m glad there’s three virgin past times that I’ve been taking advantage of:

1) Transformers

… one shall stand, one shall fall!

Can I ride you home? I mean can I give you a ride home?

2) Conan the Barbarian (you’re not a man until you’ve watched this movie)

Conan! What is best in life? 

To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women!

Yes, yes, that is good! 
3) Rocky Training Montages

Every time you hit him it’s gotta feel like he tried kissing the express train.  *cracks neck* Let’s build some hurting bombs!

That man’s got bricks in his gloves!

I really hope that this doesn’t last long like this, because I’m definitely feeling the cold November Rain.

July 30, 2007

Hardest Part

Filed under: Relationships, With a Whimper — by nullp0inter @ 3:48 pm

The hardest part is that after all the anger and indignation fades, I still love her and I’m just left with a lot of pain that won’t go away.

July 29, 2007

Stupid

Filed under: Relationships, With a Whimper — by nullp0inter @ 6:05 am

I just did something very stupid. More later if I decide to reveal how pathetic I am.

The Truth

Filed under: Relationships, With a Whimper — by nullp0inter @ 1:08 am

So now that I broke up her, the truth starts coming out. She never actually really cared for me and had been manipulating from the beginning. Why? She won’t say. She’s done it to past boyfriends to the point of almost permanently ruining their lives. Really, I can’t understand this girl or why she hurt me so bad.

She always asks for so much and then gets bored of you and then throws you to the side. I know I am so bitter and jaded by this, I’m not going to date anyone until I’m 30 or older.

I never explicitly caught her cheating like her past boyfriend did, multple times. However, her not even remembering to get me something for my birthday or even calling me on my graduation?

What kind of person does this? How does a person like this live with themselves? How are there so many of them? Was Thomas Hobbes right?

At the same time I’m trying to control my vindictiveness. I so want to just post her picture online and write down everything she’s ever done to me and all that I know about her.

I felt that I needed to put my life into perspective. So I pulled out the movie, that changed my life at one point. Conan the Barbarian!

Conan, what is best in life?

To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women.

*cheers* Yes, that is good!

After watching that classic, I became inspired. I don’t know if this exists out there, but I have an idea. A social networking site, where you post the people you’ve dated with and had a bad experience.

You post all that you know about them (negative & positive). You can use the same person matching algorithms used in terrorist databases to try to match people so that there is only one record.

That way when the good people out there get screwed over the can leave a note for the future. There’s alot of issues that would have to be resolved like conflict resolution and being able to contest facts about yourself. It would of course requiring full disclosure about yourself, since that would be the only way to really make it work. I think the first thing, would be just an initial listing service, where you list the bad things about someone along with whatever personal identifying information you know. That way other people can research the girlfriend and at least confront them.

Out of this a new Web 2.0 service is born.

Now I have a good weekend project. I know who will be the first person on there.

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